As a man living in New York City, times could never be better. Especially, this time of year. The sundresses start coming out and the beautiful women of this city come out of hibernation.
However, I’ve noticed a difference this year and it’s not the sundresses that they are wearing. It’s the “I’m heading to or going home from the gym” outfit. Yes, you heard me right. The outfit consists of extremely tight spandex pants that cut off 3″ above the ankles, neon running sneakers, t-shirt and a bottle of water in the hand. When it’s hot outside the t-shirt comes off and sports bra here we come.
I’ll be the first one to say that half of these girls don’t even belong to a gym. They are just going along with the trend and want to be included in the torture of the opposite sex. Yes, it’s torture to see an incredible ass over and over again. These pants are so tight, it’s so easy to picture what they would look like naked. Kind of like when a woman wears a bikini. It’s practically nothing. Actually, that’s why I decided to call this trend the “City Bikini.” That sounds perfect.
Do you want to witness the City Bikini for yourself? Come to New York City during the following time frames: Monday through Friday 6am – 9am and 5pm – 9pm or Saturday/Sunday ALL DAY. I’ve spent countless hours and days finding the best spots in the city to see the most City Bikini’s and finally finished. The top 3 locations are #1 Central Park #2 Upper East Side #3 Upper West Side.
The craziest part about all this is how suddenly ALL New York City women are in shape. Even the one’s you would think were too heavy are wearing the City Bikini and pulling it off quite nicely. Maybe these pants are so tight that they are pulling the fat inside out. Can that even happen? Remember those little rubber toys that you would press in, put them on the ground and suddenly they jump up. Maybe these pants are utilizing the same type of technology as these toys. It’s all getting pressed in and waiting to be freed. I will have to get back to you on that one.
Another question I have and it grosses me out to even think about it but does it get hot and sweaty in there? Yuk!!! I literally just vomited. It has to right? Furthermore, are they even comfortable? Obviously, we already know that it will give you wedgie. Oh how we love the wedgie. However, it must be brutal walking around with a wedgie all day. Unless of course it’s all part of the plan to keep torturing us men.
